Surrender: How the Ego Learns to Receive
The moment I remembered my wholeness....
The moment I remembered my wholeness, the trajectory of my life shifted.
In a tub filled with hot water... I sobbed, not knowing what to do or how to shift my situation. I felt deeply alone, unfulfilled, and burdened with responsibilities.
The shame intensified because I was also grateful for so many other things: I had a wonderful partner and child, and countless people who loved me and relied on me for support.
The hot water helped at first, yet as my emotions built up inside, the warmth became unbearable. I began sweating, and the tub started to feel like a tomb instead of a portal.
I reached to turn on the cold water, but something abruptly stopped me.
My hand pulled back, and I softened and let go as I slipped back into the hot water.
This innocent move was an attempt to reduce the discomfort caused by the pressure and heat.
Adding cold water would have shifted the ingredients necessary for this transformation to unfold, watering down the potency required in this instance.
It sounds simple, yet this is what gets me every time: a deep need to escape the tension that is there to birth new ideas and ways of being.
I stayed with the tension even though I was sweating and feeling claustrophobic, letting the heat continue to build.
Surprised by my own action, I closed the doors to increase the heat and steam, a move that baffled me because it was counterintuitive to the circumstance.
And then… a series of thoughts, feelings, and ideas broke into my conscious awareness.
It felt otherworldly, or like I was touched by a divine essence.
I wept in gratitude for the light that began to fill the spaces within…
There was a moment of surrender, and it had a somatic component, a visceral release as my muscles trembled and my chest expanded.
I consciously said yes and welcomed divine support as it moved through my soul.
I cried tears of surrender, as waves of relief flooded my nervous system. There is nothing sweeter than the sense of relief when a heavy burden has been lifted from the heart.
In this moment, I knew without a doubt that my psyche was guiding me, and my ego was breaking down, bit by bit.
The fear had a grip, and it was as if my faith intercepted it, peeling back the ego’s hold, finger by finger.
One breath… a little release
One anchored thought… a little more space.
One feeling of being resourced… a glimmer of hope.
This little process was practiced moment by moment because, if I am being honest, some of my darkest days required this type of diligent redirection. Some of my challenges required quick thinking and an intense and immediate response.
My ego was relentless in its need to remind me of all the things that were out of control, all of the things I should be afraid of, and all of the obligations (financial and otherwise) that I needed to fulfill while operating on empty.
It was not a financial windfall or singular blessing that turned things around or helped me get out of my own way—it was learning how to consciously surrender in an empowered way.
It was my attention to resistance and the prompting of my soul to soften this resistance so I could let in the things I desperately wanted.
Instead of trying to get something to feel better… I learned how to attune myself to my desire, to let go, and let it materialize in a harmonious form, beyond anything my ego could have conceived of.
Although nothing had actually changed... everything changed. The evidence would soon appear rapidly and in the most surprising ways.
It became abundantly clear that I was not alone in my efforts.
There was a deeper guiding essence, in fact more than one… ensuring me, guiding me, encouraging me, and reminding me of my power.
It looks and feels like magic, but it is really a combination of intuitive, somatic, psychological, energetic, and creative effort, done through intention and deep listening.
It was harder to let go than to let in.
It was harder to trust than to receive.
The evidence was immediate, and now I know what to look for and how to cultivate it.
I am now diligent about how I teach this principle in my work, a constant reminder that the ego learns to receive as we experience deeper and deeper states of surrender.
I am honored to have the opportunity to lead a fabulous group of women through similar practices over the course of two months.
You will not be the same person after our time is complete.
If this speaks to you, go here to claim a spot to join us:​
​Path of the Dark Goddess ​
Now I know not everyone loves being in a group and doing this type of work with or healing and expanding around others. For that reason, I opened up two private mentoring spots for The Path of the Dark Goddess.
Me, you, and your magic together to deepen, awaken, and integrate.
If this offering is not yet accessible to you, we do have payment plans, OR you can also check out my self-study programs, which are half off until midnight tonight with the coupon code: DARK WOOD
You can find the self-study programs here:
​Self-Study Courses​
As we soften our ego defenses, we simultaneously awaken the magic within the feminine psyche.
If this calls to you, I’d love for you to join us for this life-changing program, The Path of the Dark Goddess.
Or reach out if you have any questions...
Your sister in shadow,
Melissa Kim Corter
A ritual without magic is simply just a chore
~ Melissa Kim Corter